And, while it has taken me time to get here, that voice in my head still comes back now and then to whisper nonsense that I’m not good enough, that I don’t deserve happiness. When it does, I remind myself that knowing I hated myself is hard, but actively hating yourself is harder, and having visited both sides of that, I know where I want to be. I’ll never know why I let the darkness carry on for so long, but I never want to go back there. I don’t want to be alone, using, questioning everything, and hoping for the end. I want to be here, active in life, feeling good, and accomplishing things like going to school.
Why going sober was one of the best things I’ve ever done
For people with a drinking problem, alcohol can be like a loving, supportive partner with a major dealbreaker. It’s there with you every step of the way. It goes with you to parties, celebrates your victories, comforts you during heartaches, and also sometimes poops in the shower. When you stop problem-drinking, you suddenly get a third-ish of your day back. That’s because your days don’t fizzle out at 6 p.m. Instead of floating through your weekends and evenings in a dreamy fog, you’re there for all of it.
Gen Z are health conscious
It is always going to be difficult remembering sober house the past, but because of it I get to grow. When I was growing up, it was clear to me, and others, that I had some self-esteem issues. It didn’t seem to matter what it was that I tried, vowed, started, or claimed that I loved — none of it ever took up any real time, space, energy or passion. It was all me and that cycle of self-worth and escaping it the only way I knew how. I treated myself like I was worthless, and my life was a direct reflection of what I told myself.
Jay Leno Reflects on Finding the Funny Despite His Wife’s Dementia Diagnosis
If you’re not the bath salts homeless dude eating someone’s face (or at least the other homeless dude getting his face eaten off), you’re not there yet. For some reason, there’s a huge backlash now against 12-step programs and how they’re all culty and shamey and ineffective. You don’t see flabby people telling you that CrossFit is better than SoulCycle, so why are normal drinkers so chill with being all, “My uncle went to AA and he said they’re all Nazis”? Obviously, there are downsides to the program, but you’ll hear much more about them from people who have no experience. I didn’t want to be one of those weird sober people. I was so afraid of being “single” that I stayed in a shitty “relationship.” And honestly, it could have gotten much worse for me.
Major Movies Made By People Who Hated Working With Each Other
That’s when I went into work, and opened up to my boss about everything. I guess at that moment, I thought so little of myself, that it didn’t matter how the conversation went, I was going to leave anyways, but what I got back after a conversation full of realness was amazing. Instead of the rejection I expected, I got support, and that’s when the first bright moment occurred for my self-esteem. Now that I’m on the other side, in sobriety, I’m back in school, in a great relationship and have some really supportive friends and colleagues at work who challenge me to be better each day than the day before.
- Before you know it, a lousy day in sobriety can quickly turn into your last day in sobriety if you turn to drugs and alcohol to ease your emotional discomfort.
- Yes, asking for help was already listed, but it is so important that it is worth repeating.
- Small amounts of alcohol make humans what they want to be.” explains Nutt.
- When I quit, I worried that I’d confirm every stereotype about women being too uptight, too worried about being out of control and un-ladylike.
- Sometimes they’re out-and-out creeps who target incoherent women, but a lot of the time, it’s in more of a gray area.
Without alcohol, I actually have to face those things so I feel stronger in myself to be able to deal with them if they arise again. But these are all things I can now enjoy sober. By cutting down on drink I’ve grown more confident and comfortable in who I am, and I now prefer the sober version of myself – a state of affairs 16-year-old me would scarcely believe. This doesn’t have to mean cutting alcohol out entirely either – “I drink, so it the impact of alcohol doesn’t worry me enough to stop,” Professor Nutt says. There are two main ways ditching alcohol has benefitted my health. Start small, like going for a walk around the neighborhood, with the plan to one day try jogging.
- According to Drink Aware’s 2019 study on drinking behaviours in the UK, year-olds were the most likely to be teetotal, with 26% refraining from drinking.
- I treated myself like I was worthless, and my life was a direct reflection of what I told myself.
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- It’s a carcinogen and can make you more sensitive to sunlight, so you’d better get those moles checked.
- The confidence alcohol gives you isn’t really real.
She later mentioned that she hadn’t had a drink in almost a decade. Yes, but also, it’s usually the case that fresh faces are sober faces. There are plenty of negative elements to getting sober too. And, although I absolutely believe that the positives outweigh the negatives, I also think that it’s essential that those of us who are sober talk about the bad parts too. If someone asks why you’re not drinking, keep it light and simple.
But in new environments where drinking is the norm, I try to keep the fact I’m not drinking under wraps by ordering a Diet Coke or alcohol-free beer on the sly. From my experience, people don’t ask questions when you’re holding a drink, and I don’t want swerving alcohol to be my defining character trait when meeting new people. If you say you’re trying to eat less https://yourhealthmagazine.net/article/addiction/sober-houses-rules-that-you-should-follow/ chocolate or exercise more to improve your health, people generally accept it.
We invite you to share your journey of recovery and be featured on Recovery Connection! Fill out the form below and one of our team members will reach out to help you get started. But I also think the uncomfortable parts of sobriety provide the biggest benefits. Our ability to survive our darker side, and push through despite it, is what makes us better and keeps us sober long term. Where you go for that support is entirely up to you — there are many paths forward. But you have to go forward, and that’s not an easy direction.
How I Stopped Hating Myself: Lessons in Sobriety
Like any other significant life change that affects your daily routine, it does take some solid stakes in order to make it stick. There has to be an un-fun reason to not do the fun thing. In that way, yeah, you have to hit a point where the pros no longer outweigh the cons.
My productivity boomed, my mood was consistently higher and my confidence took an unexpected turn for the better. I also developed a Lionel Richie level of appreciation for Sunday mornings (some of which were previously spent recovering). Before I knew it, I’d gone several months without a drop, and it was one of the best things I’ve ever done. From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing.
As with most problems, the solution is as difficult or as simple as we make it. Sometimes, consider how your behavior has affected others. Or maybe those crotchety old-timers like to complain about life. Or the newcomer has unrealistic expectations and judges others unfairly.
Redefine socialising
If you tell yourself everyday that you are worthless, you find reinforcement of that in every small inconvenience, every minor mistake, and every failed interaction. I finally got to the point so dark, so lonely, so disappointed in myself that I couldn’t stand one more day like this and I knew that I couldn’t live like this anymore. I could either keep feeling like this, or quit every substance and see what could change.
